god of Safety

Facebook told me it was false information. I’m not sure why they said it was false except if they meant that C.S. Lewis did not write it which may be the case. However, the sentiment is true. People will still die, and the enemy has used fear to separate people. Are we holding on to our lives so tightly? Where is our trust in God? America is serving the god of Safety and on the altar I see relationships dying.

Good Samaritan in Covid


After loving God with all that is in you, you are to turn and love your neighbor.  Jesus gives us this story.

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” ‘Luke 10:26-37 https://my.bible.com/bible/111/LUK.10.26-37

When this virus threat popped up in our culture, people were afraid to contract this horrible, painful virus that had possibilities of death.  It looked horrible from the descriptions and speed of infection.  People started wearing masks and then if they didn’t, they were asked to wear masks.  Finally now people are being required to wear masks.  We were told to wear masks so to not spread the virus and to protect the ones we love.  Some people are calling those that do not want to wear a mask for whatever reason selfish and not considerate.

I would like to offer my viewpoint and perspective should anyone want to listen to different viewpoints and why I feel the way I do about the mask issue.

I was enrolled in a class called Empathy Training when lockdown and quarantine began. We were studying various children and why and how they receive love, understanding, and how they return that love and understanding to others.  Some children struggle with being empathetic, and we looked at the reasons for this.  Our textbooks and the information I received in these textbooks were secular and scientific.  One chapter in The Social Neuroscience of Empathy was about the economic ramifications of empathy in a social culture/country.  It came down, literally, on trust and seeing someone’s face.

Piecing together what I read during this class, what I sense is happening in the Good Samaritan, and what I have dealt with in my present day circumstances, I have come to the conclusion that the mask is doing far greater harm mentally and emotionally to the greater good of society.  I am not angry at anyone who wants to wear a mask, but I am hurt.  I do not believe that the Lord would hide His face to us if He wants us to trust Him. I do not imagine that society in general can give or receive love as long as we have our face covered.

When the priest and Levi walked around the bleeding and hurt man, they were giving their 6 feet of distance.  They did not want to get hurt themselves.  They were afraid they would be robbed.  Now, I realize the man did not likely have a contagious disease, but I bet he was bloody and perhaps dead (do not the rules say that you become ceremonially unclean if you touch a dead body).  I doubt the Samaritan had a mask on so that he would not breathe the bloody wounds or breathe out contagion that he might have been carrying.  I suppose he trusted the innkeeper to continue to help whatever the cost.  He had to trust.



Saturday 10-5–Doctor orders me to journal

Saturdays are the hardest for me.

Today I slept late.  We started on waffles and the restoration guy stopped by.

He sent me the estimate for clean up in the laundry room.  Another $500 after the unclogging also cost $500.  It is very hard to swallow.  I don’t think they are cheating me or being dishonest.  It just feels like I have no choice but to do this work.

After he left, 4 of the children and I went to the zoo.  We walked around until we were thirsty, and the cafe was already closed.  We left for McD drinks ($1).  I didn’t need the drink carrier and tried to get the window attendant’s attention to say so, but they continued to fill the drink carrier anyway.  When she finally opened the window, I said I don’t need the drink carrier (because each child and myself were immediately going to drink our drink) she looked at me funny, said nothing, and with great effort pulled each drink out of the holder and passed them through the window.  I hated messing up her day.

We then found Emerald Park that is on top of North Little Rock overlooking Little Rock and the Arkansas River.  It was a beautiful hike, but it was hot.  It was also scary so close to the edge of the cliffs.  I’m glad we went though.  I feel better about my day and all the stress.

I must get outside more.

LOL number 5

This level of Loss is focused on Confidante. Greg was better than any friend I ever had. I could talk to him about anything. I could share with him my struggles and he would pray with me. I could tell him my deepest longings and he would not make fun of me.

We could sit together in silence and it not be awkward. If I blabbed on and on, he didn’t act like he was tired of me talking. Only few times I remember not letting him finish what he was saying and he got irritated with me, but who wouldn’t be? :/

He gave me space to finish my explanations which most people don’t let me do because sometimes it takes me a while to get to my point. Yes, I can be very annoying, but he was always kind and that’s what I look for in a friend. Don’t we all?

So the Lord Is now my only Confidante. He gives me time to explain my thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t rush me. He seems to enjoy it when I talk to Him. I can confess my deepest darkest most terrible thoughts and He forgives. He even already knew them. I’m not going to say anything that surprises Him. “Before a word is on my tongue, You know it.” Ps 139:4. He doesn’t rush me or ignore me (like my kids do). He doesn’t get distracted when I want to talk. He is my closest Friend. He always has been.

Do you know Him like this?

LOL–Level of Loss (number 3)

So I’ve had a bad day.  Today I’m struggling with lots of random ideas and hopes and dreams.  I feel that the lies are on the verge of convincing me of their likelihood, such as useless, incompetent, hopeless, and insignificant.  I could’ve used even an awkward hug or some kind of comfort.

Greg was a Comforter to me.  Not in the same way the Holy Spirit is, of course.  In the way that shows someone actually cares.  I guess that is actually why the Lord sent the Holy Spirit after Jesus ascended.  I guess we all need to know that Someone actually cares.

I suppose Greg’s role in my life was significant in this way because he was the kind of person who did care about others and not just me. We could all tell that he cared.  He did a good job at showing this by listening or encouraging, and even the occasional hug.  I wanted to run away today, but I had no where to run.  God listened to me today and had me run to a friend’s house who happened to be home and who happened to be putting kids down for a nap so it turned out to be a good time to listen and talk.  Someone cared.  That’s all I needed.  Comforting hugs are much like listening well.  Therefore it reminds me of what I’ve lost with Greg gone.

I’ll still struggle even though I know the Holy Spirit has always been my true Comforter.  He gave me Greg for the time He did and so I’m thankful.  For some, a good hug and a good listen might mean the same.  You just never know what someone near you needs.

The kids, too, feel this particular loss acutely.  I can see it in their eyes.  They just want someone to hear their side of the problem.  They just want a hug that says, “I care.”  This level of loss for them is heart-breaking.  May the Lord comfort each of the children; may they feel the care of the Father in a real way.  May we all.  Get the Son, get life, get comforted by the Holy Spirit.